Friday, December 17, 2010

Christmas Carols For The Frustrated

T'was the week before Shutdown, and over at the house
Not a tradie was stirring, just ask my spouse.
The prewires were hung in the conduits with care,
In hopes that the gyprockers soon would be there.

The brickies were nestled all snug in their beds,
And cans of tuna fish danced in their heads.
Whilst tiles that were missing, and eaves that were bare,
And god only knows when the cladding be'd there.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
And complaints from the neighbours from delivery-men chatter.
Away to the window I wiped off the Goop,
But stepped on a nail pointing up to the roof.

In spite of the rain, which made us feel sick,
I knew in a moment it was our SS Nick.
We'd finally been put at the top of his list,
He whistled, and shouted. A hell of a twist!

"Now Tilers! now, Chippies! now, Sparkies and all!
Let's work on this house, and finish the walls!
To the top of the gables! to the top of the stairs!
Now dash away! Dash away, all ye Lockup nightmares!"

On the twelfth day 'fore Shutdown
My builder gave to me
Twelve days of rain excuses,
Eleven tradies missing,
Ten accountants a-leaping,
Nine salespeople dancing,
Eight courtesy calls missing,
Seven clients more important,
Six thieves a-lurking,
FIVE GOLDEN plumbers.
Four calls to voicemail,
Three French doors,
Two weeks of nothing,
And an invoice in my 'pear tree'!

Am sure you get the jist of how we're feeling about the absolutely woeful progress made on our build during the entire month of December, and it simply can't all be blamed on the weather:
  • No garage roof
  • No outdoor room roof
  • No cladding
  • No internal carpentry fixup
  • No PCA inspection of frame/slab
  • No prewiring
  • No a/c ducting
  • No stairs
  • No gyprock
  • No lockup

None of these even were started unlike most other double-storey builds that commenced near the same time as us in metro areas. Still, rather than the usual "rant-post" we decided to write something funny you can all relate to. :) Hope everyone gets some final Christmas Joy in their builds over the last few days before shutdown.

Best Wishes & Merry Christmas All!


  1. LOL - how frustrating but love the post!!

    We are still not at lock up either - I realised yesterday as there are still 3 small sections of roof missing they cant yet invoice us! I bet thats killing them as its the biggest one due at almost $100K ;)

    No gyprock for us either - or insulation, or stairs but we have promises of work happening over Xmas - but I will believe that when I see it..

    Hope you see SOME action this week..

    I often amuse myself by thinking about how fast these builds could be if they managed to get tradesmen there MOST days, not even every day..

  2. You came up with all that Xmas stuff yourself? Nice, love it.

  3. @Shayne - couldn't agree more ... laugh or sigh eh?
    @Jay - thanks ... yes, sadly. ;)
    @Robert - thanks mate. :)

  4. Love the post .. we are all on the same boat to Christmas island :)

  5. hi craig and sandy! i understand the frustration.. but i'm loving the posts!! love love love how you composed those! hehehe

  6. LOVE the poems...very funny and very clever! :)

    Disappointed for you not having much progress. We know only too well how frustrating it is. They better get their a*** into gear in January!!

  7. @Marlon - hehehe, excellent mate.
    @alanamaree - thanks, hope you're well. Your place is flying along superbly!
    @Rachael - cheers Rachael, hope you have a great Chrissie!